Reformed Confessions & Catechisms

Marriage & Family

11 passages across 5 of the nine confessions and catechisms address Marriage & Family. The full text of each is below.

Compare these in the interactive reader →

Question 92

Q. What is God's law?

A. God spoke all these words: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. I. You shall have no other gods before me. II. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments. III. You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name. IV. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work— you, your son or your daughter, your male or female servant, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and consecrated it. V. Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving to you. VI. You shall not murder. VII. You shall not commit adultery. VIII. You shall not steal. IX. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. X. You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or male or female servant, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Question 104

Q. What is God's will for you in the fifth commandment?

A. That I show honor, love, and faithfulness to my father and mother and all those in authority over me; submit myself with proper obedience to all their good teaching and discipline; and also that I be patient with their failings— for by their hand God wills to rule us.

Question 108

Q. What is God's will for us in the seventh commandment?

A. That God condemns all unchastity, and that we should therefore detest it wholeheartedly and live decent and chaste lives, within or outside of the holy state of marriage.

Chapter 24: Of Marriage and Divorce

1. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman: neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband, at the same time.

2. Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness.

3. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent. Yet it is the duty of Christians to marry only in the Lord. And therefore such as profess the true reformed religion should not marry with infidels, papists, or other idolaters: neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are notoriously wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresies.

4. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity or affinity forbidden by the Word. Nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.

5. Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and, after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.

6. Although the corruption of man be such as is apt to study arguments unduly to put asunder those whom God hath joined together in marriage: yet, nothing but adultery, or such willful desertion as can no way be remedied by the church, or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage: wherein, a public and orderly course of proceeding is to be observed; and the persons concerned in it not left to their own wills, and discretion, in their own case.

Question 20

Q. What was the providence of God toward man in the estate in which he was created?

A. The providence of God toward man in the estate in which he was created, was the placing him in paradise, appointing him to dress it, giving him liberty to eat of the fruit of the earth; putting the creatures under his dominion, and ordaining marriage for his help; affording him communion with himself; instituting the Sabbath; entering into a covenant of life with him, upon condition of personal, perfect, and perpetual obedience, of which the tree of life was a pledge; and forbidding to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, upon the pain of death.

Question 124

Q. Who are meant by father and mother in the fifth commandment?

A. By father and mother, in the fifth commandment, are meant, not only natural parents, but all superiors in age and gifts; and especially such as, by God's ordinance, are over us in place of authority, whether in family, church, or commonwealth.

Question 125

Q. Why are superiors styled father and mother?

A. Superiors are styled father and mother, both to teach them in all duties toward their inferiors, like natural parents, to express love and tenderness to them, according to their several relations; and to work inferiors to a greater willingness and cheerfulness in performing their duties to their superiors, as to their parents.

Question 138

Q. What are the duties required in the seventh commandment?

A. The duties required in the seventh commandment are, chastity in body, mind, affections, words, and behavior; and the preservation of it in ourselves and others; watchfulness over the eyes and all the senses; temperance, keeping of chaste company, modesty in apparel; marriage by those that have not the gift of continency, conjugal love, and cohabitation; diligent labor in our callings; shunning all occasions of uncleanness, and resisting temptations thereunto.

Question 139

Q. What are the sins forbidden in the seventh commandment?

A. The sins forbidden in the seventh commandment, besides the neglect of the duties required, are, adultery, fornication, rape, incest, sodomy, and all unnatural lusts; all unclean imaginations, thoughts, purposes, and affections; all corrupt or filthy communications, or listening thereunto; wanton looks, impudent or light behavior, immodest apparel; prohibiting of lawful, and dispensing with unlawful marriages; allowing, tolerating, keeping of stews, and resorting to them; entangling vows of single life, undue delay of marriage, having more wives or husbands than one at the same time; unjust divorce, or desertion; idleness, gluttony, drunkenness, unchaste company; lascivious songs, books, pictures, dancings, stage plays; and all other provocations to, or acts of uncleanness, either in ourselves or others.

Chapter 29: Of Single Life, Wedlock, and Household Government

Such as have the gift of chastity given unto them from above, so as they can with the heart or whole mind be pure and continent and not be grievously burned with lust, let them serve the Lord in that calling, as long as they shall feel themselves endued with that heavenly gift: and let them not lift up themselves above others, but let them serve the Lord daily in simplicity and humility. For such are more apt for doing of heavenly things than they which are distracted with the private affairs of a family. But if again the gift is taken away and they feel a continual burning, let them call to mind the words of the apostle, "It is better to marry, than to burn" (1 Cor. 7:9).

For wedlock (which is the medicine of incontinency and continency itself) was ordained by the Lord God Himself, who blessed it most bountifully, and willed man and woman to cleave one to the other inseparably and to live together in great love and concord (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5–6). Whereupon we know the apostle said, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled" (Heb. 13:4). And again, "If a virgin marry, she sinneth not" (1 Cor. 7:28). We, therefore, condemn polygamy and those which condemn second marriages.

We teach that marriages ought to be made lawfully in the fear of the Lord and not against the laws which forbid certain degrees to join in matrimony, lest the marriages should be incestuous. Let marriages be made with consent of the parents or such as are in the place of parents; and for that end especially for which the Lord ordained marriages: and let them be confirmed publicly in the church with prayer and blessing. Moreover, let them be kept holy, with peace, faithfulness, dutifulness, love, and also purity of the persons coupled together. Therefore, let them take heed of brawlings, debates, lusts, and adulteries. Let lawful judgments and holy judges be established in the church, which may maintain marriages and may repress all dishonesty and shamefulness, and before whom controversies in matrimony may be decided and ended.

Let children also be brought up of the parents in the fear of the Lord; and let parents provide for their children, remembering the saying of the apostle, "He that provideth not for his own hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Tim. 5:8). But specially let them teach their children honest sciences whereby they may maintain themselves: let them withdraw them from idleness and plant in them a true confidence in God in all these things; lest they, through distrust, or overmuch careless security or filthy covetousness, wax loose and in the end come to no good.

Now it is most certain that those works which parents do in a true faith, by the duties of marriage and government of their families, are, before God, holy and good works indeed, and please God no less than prayers, fasting, and alms deeds. For so the apostle has taught in his epistles, especially in those to Timothy and Titus. And with the same apostle we account the doctrine of such as forbid marriage, or do openly dispraise or secretly discredit it as not holy or clean, among the "doctrines of devils" (1 Tim. 4:1). And we do detest unclean single life, licentious lusts, and fornications, both open and close, and the continency of dissembling hypocrites, whenas they are of all men most incontinent. All that be such, God will judge. We do not disapprove of riches and rich men, if they are godly, and use their riches well; but we reprove the sect of the Apostolicals, etc.

Chapter 25: Of Marriage

1. Marriage is to be between one man and one woman; neither is it lawful for any man to have more than one wife, nor for any woman to have more than one husband at the same time.

2. Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and the preventing of uncleanness.

3. It is lawful for all sorts of people to marry, who are able with judgment to give their consent; yet it is the duty of Christians to marry in the Lord, and therefore such as profess the true religion, should not marry with infidels, or idolaters; neither should such as are godly be unequally yoked, by marrying with such as are wicked in their life, or maintain damnable heresy.

4. Marriage ought not to be within the degrees of consanguinity, or affinity forbidden in the Word; nor can such incestuous marriages ever be made lawful, by any law of man or consent of parties, so as those persons may live together as man and wife.